Football Futility – The Bottom Ten – Homecoming Humiliation
With many teams looking forward to their homecoming games that enliven the campus each fall, collegiate football losers are now trying to figure out how to avoid the game. New Mexico State had a golden opportunity to win its Homecoming game this weekend – if only it had scheduled it for this weekend against Utah State. Aggie fans will have to wait until the 24th of October to be shellacked by Fresno State for its annual Homecoming.
One can also measure the expectation that one’s opponents have for your team by looking at the number of games that your team will play in on the road that serve as the hosts’ “homecoming game.” The Cougars are set to be the Arizona Homecoming victim in a couple weeks. The Cougars also set up their own Homecoming this weekend for their game against Arizona State. The weekend festivities, featuring an exhibit of animal teeth, is expected to include a football game. WSU’s main chance is to hope the fan’s stay at the museum and not venture near the football stadium.
Some of the Bottom Ten from last week, Maryland in particular, surprised critics by figuring out how not to fail. It must be that patting the turtle in the Terrapin walkway from the locker room to the field brought some kind of good luck – or bad luck for a team with another set of really ugly uniforms. Maryland worked out a win at home over Clemson in a bit of a surprise and Virginia (of all teams) came up with a successful effort against North Carolina State.
Last week’s #10 Idaho failed in its bid to return to the top five of the First Worst Futility Rankings by Beating Colorado State 31-29 on an interception return for TD with 1:41 left. The win takes the Vandals to a very surprising 4-1 record – earning them a ticket out of the bottom ten. The Sage of College Football will miss ‘em. Making fun of the Vandals team moniker was always good for a couple paragraphs.
Of those schools that remain in the Futility Rankings, the top few have either horrible schedules or horrible teams – a couple have both.
10. Maryland – The University of Maryland emerged the surprise winner over Clemson at home Saturday. After patting the turtle prior to entering the field, Maryland sealed the win by recovering a Clemson fumble at the Terrapin 28 with 27 seconds remaining. One more win and Maryland might also re-exit the bottom ten. It might not be this week though, as they take on Wake Forest.
9. Virginia – Managed a win over North Carolina State. Holding the ‘Heels to a touchdown-free afternoon, Virginia drops to #9 in the Futility Rankings. The Cadavaliers now travel to Bloomington to take on a slightly resurgent Indiana team. The Hoosiers – fresh off a thumping by 39 Ohio State – are looking to re-enter the Futility rankings themselves, so this could be a good match up.
8. Louisville Cardinals – This new entry into the Bottom Ten comes courtesy of a 1-3 record and a 35-10 walloping at the hands of Pittsburgh U. With the football Futility Rankings decorated with basketball schools, it seemed appropriate that the Cardinals should enter the fray. On Deck for the Cards is Southern Miss. Look for the Cardinals to make a run for the top five in the Futility Rankings with two nationally ranked opponents and a handful of decent teams remaining on their schedule.
7. Colorado – Following a Thursday night loss to West Virginia, the 1-3 Bungalows of Colorado head to Austin to take on #2 Texas in a nationally televised game. Colorado seems to surprise when playing on national television. Realistically, CU brass will be happy if the team just shows up. It would also be happy if the Buffs give up fewer than 40 points on national television.
6. Army – Army gave up ten 4th quarter points to lose to the Tulane Green Wave 17-16. Anyone losing to a team referred to the ‘Green Wave’ deserves lofty rankings in the Bottom Ten. Next up: Vanderbilt at home.
5. Duke – The Bleu Devils lost Saturday 24-23 to Virginia Tech. By keeping it close, Duke earned a back handed compliment from Tech Coach Frank Beamer, who said, “I don’t think that’s the old Duke football Team.” It was however the same Duke result. Next up for the Bleu Devils: 3-2 NC State. Duke’s record against Division I schools with winning records isn’t going to cause the Wolfpack much in the way of lost sleep.
4. Utah State – The Aggies reached a major milestone with its 35-17 loss to Brigham Young Saturday… The Utah State Aggies are now a combined 1-50 against AP ranked schools in their last 51 games. Reaching that 50 loss plateau has required years of preparation and dedication by the University and its collective staffs over the past several years. Establishing and maintaining a tradition like this requires a generation of effort. The Aggies haven’t announced plans to celebrate just yet. Their next game is against doormat New Mexico State. Lose there and the University will avail its Psych majors to provide free counseling.
3. New Mexico State – – After taking the team breakfast on the beach at LaJolla, the Aggies got down to business and posted a 34-17 loss to San Diego State. After all, if you are gonna get whacked in the afternoon, you may as well enjoy oogling the beach babes in the morning. There aren’t many of those in Las Cruces. The next game against Utah State should at least be something to look forward to. Unfortunately, the wizards in the Athletic office decided to make the October 24 game against Fresno State Homecoming weekend. The Aggies should consider moving it up as they might have a shot against Utah State. At least a team named the ‘Aggies’ will win.
2. Washington State – Following a 52-6 pasting at Oregon, the Cougar football team is hiring itself out to pick apples this week. This would at least be a productive use of time. Oregon even threw in its second string QB in the second quarter and still the Cougars couldn’t make it close. Arizona State comes to Pullman this Saturday though for another round of football futility.
1. New Mexico – remained perfect in 2009 with a loss to Texas Tech. The Lobos kept this thing close for a quarter before returning to form by losing 48-28. In true Texas fashion, the Raiders gave up a couple mercy touchdowns late in the 4th quarter to make the final score a little more respectable. For the first three quarters, the only New Mexico scoring came on a busted Tech pass play that was intercepted and returned for a touchdown. The Lobos offense is certainly ‘offensive’ especially when one has paid for a ticket with real money.