First Worst Futility Rankings – Week Three – The Bottom Ten of College Football
First Worst Futility Rankings – Week Three- The Bottom Ten of College Football
The season is rapidly taking shape for college football’s losers. After week two, a couple programs surprised the nation by starting out 0-2 and have earned entry into the First Worst Futility Rankings.
The Colorado Buffaloes of the Big 12 have already hit midseason form with an unbelievable shellacking at the hands of the University of Toledo. Buff players will remember this one forever as they figured out a way to give up 54 points to a Mid America Conference school. Most Big 12 schools don’t bother with the MAC, and it appears that CU should have avoided it as well. But…unless they scheduled a bye week, the Buffs would have found someone else to get whacked by.
Other schools should have scheduled a bye. Troy University at least collected a decent paycheck from getting bonged by #1 Florida 56-6, and Virginia dutifully surrendered to TCU 30-14 to advance its record to 0-2.
As the season revs its engines and good conference games are just around the corner, let us take a look at the Bottom Ten of College Football for the Week 3 version of the First Worst Futility Rankings.
10. Indiana – The Hoosiers upgraded the quality of their opponents –if not their play- this past week by defeating Western Michigan 23-19. Graduating from beating up on a lower division school, the Hoosiers advanced their record to 2-0. Normally, this would be a good school to drop from the Futility Rankings, but given Indiana’s record, week two isn’t quite enough evidence that the team has improved. Following a 2-0 start in 2008 with wins against lower division opponents, the Hoosiers never won again. Will history repeat itself? The Hoosiers should at least advance to 3-0 with a game against Akron this weekend. The schedule makers gave Indiana a shot at a possessing a winning record for at least five weeks. The first real game on the Hoosier schedule is Sept. 26 against Michigan.
9. Iowa State – The Cyclones are on rapid transit to the bottom of the Big 12 right along with the Colorado Buffaloes. Losing – yes, convincingly- to cross state rival Iowa 35-3, the Cyclones have a lot to work on – starting with hanging on to the football. I-State gave up a whopping six turnovers in this thing and never made it close. With a game against Kent State set for Saturday, the Cyclones will be reminded frequently this week that smaller Midwestern schools LOVE to knock off someone from the Big 12. Just ask the Buffs.
8. Utah State – The Aggies did the best they could this week. At least they didn’t lose. They were the only Futility Ranked school with the sense not to schedule a game.
7. Colorado – What a shock. The Sage of College Football has to welcome the CU Buffs to the Bottom Ten this week after a stunning and absolutely embarrassing loss to the University of Toledo. And believe it or not, CU was never in it. Down 23-3 at the half, the Buffs managed to put up 35 second half points. Unfortunately, the Rockets put up an additional 31 of their own. Local media couldn’t bring itself to even report on this game (yes, really!). They won’t want to cover the next one either. Should Wyoming (who at least played Texas tough for a half) come out on top, CU Coach Dan Hawkins may get that early trip to Hawaii.
6. New Mexico – The poor Lobos are just getting worse – even after only two games. New Mexico lost its first two games by a combined score of 85-16. And this season could get a whole lot worse beginning next week against Air Force. New New Mexico Coach Mike Locksley was at a loss for anything constructive to say after giving up 44 points to Tulsa, uttering only that his team had a lot to work on. Locksley needs to work on his resume.
5. Virginia – The Cavs played TCU tough, but still came up short. And owing to an outrageous loss to William and Mary in week one, the Cavs deserve to be solidly entrenched at #5 in the Futility Rankings. The Cavs are on the road against Southern Mississippi next weekend. Lose this and we’ll move ‘em up a notch. Virginia, and Colorado have been the biggest surprises at the bottom of football’s barrel so far this year. Large state schools losing to small ones that didn’t figure to have a chance when the season began is a first class ticket to the tank.
4. Duke – The Mighty Bleu Devils got out of position #1 in the Bottom Ten with a win over Army on Saturday. This has the Duke faithful at least sighing in relief that it won’t be another completely winless season. And beating the Knights at West Point is not a small accomplishment. Still, Duke will probably return to form this week against #22 Kansas in Kansas. The Devil fans can now enjoy future shellackings knowing they have their one ‘W’ already in the bag. This makes the wait for basketball season a little bit easier.
3. Idaho – The Vandals – although winning over New Mexico State last week, turned in a solid performance by losing to the University of Washington and breaking UDub’s multi-season winless streak. The Vandals could easily go winless the rest of the way, beginning with San Diego State next week. To get in a win itself though, SDSU had to schedule a football team from Southern Utah. If you have ever been to southern Utah, it is a wonder they could find 11 guys and a football field. Getting back to Idaho – and gee who wouldn’t want to do that – some powder-puff games remain on their schedule. Winning these will make the record books a little neater but won’t get ‘em off the Futility Rankings Worst Ten list.
2. New Mexico State – winning against Prairie View A&M doesn’t exactly qualify as a quality win. But if you are the NMS Aggies, any win has a certain degree of quality – even if it is over the women’s field hockey team. New New Mexico State Coach DeWayne Walker notched a win in what promises to be a perfectly awful season the rest of the way. Although he can count on having a shot against in-state rival New Mexico and against Utah State, the Aggies committed the unforgivable sin of scheduling in Ohio State and Boise State. Can’t wait for those. Walker needs to enjoy this week to its fullest.
1. Washington State – The Cougars of Washington State are making a drive to the first winless season since – well – last year when cross-state rival Washington accomplished the same feat. The Cougs have a shot against Southern Methodist on Saturday, but blow this one, and it will really be downhill from there. Actually, no matter what happens on Saturday, it will be downhill for this program.
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